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thetruedarkness
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Name: Sexy Little Dead Girl
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
Birthday: 5/8/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: Goth ,EDM, anything alternative, cosplaying, anime, manga, Sharpies, thunderstorms, randomness, the Interweb, writing,LGBT actvism, having fun doing nothing,alcohol,energy drinks, psychedelics, amphetamines, disassociatives, and Gaia Online.
Expertise: Writing and being a full-time weirdo.
Occupation: Full-time wifey, sometimes wor
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  XGothicXLolitaX
AIM:  MissFormalde3hyd3
Member Since:
7/13/2005
 True
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| I recently just found out about Xanga being on it's last leg from many of you posting about it on here. Can't believe it! If you'd still like to keep track of my chronicles while you're starting a-new or are just a lurker, catch me on here, as well:
I'm just like Lucky Charms, only deadlier!  | | |
| As what have I've been doing....
- Partying.
- Working here and there.
- Writing Brian letters.
- Wedding/future planning.
- Going down the Shore.
Kinda sad I can't visit Brian yet as he's been moved to Chester . He had to get a list approved first which was kinda drawlin. The place itself is an hour's drive from my house in the sticks of West Chester. I don't drive. Now, if that wasn't bad enough the visiting hours are very limited. Tuesdays 6-10 PM and Thursdays 10-2 PM, with Thursdays being behind glass. I'm not even sure if you get an hour a week or if it's only a half whatever day you select. Shit's weak, though. As for what happened with his sentencing...on May 2, they gave him 11 months with time served with eligibility for parole in 8. His tentative release at this point is for October. Been chillin' with the usual suspects, but, have met a couple new friends from near and far. Bianca has actually found herself in a mess. And I mean, I'm not exaggerating. Chino's back in jail over it. These are my lovely friends. Trololololo.
Auto wreckage Posted Jun. 6, 2013A trio of alleged tire slashers, which includes an East Passyunk woman, was identified within 24 hours of the South of South vandalisms. Police responded to the 800 block of South 18th Street at 5:15 a.m. Friday where residents reported a mass tire slashing and car keying that spanned 17th to 19th streets and Bainbridge to Carpenter streets and included 39 affected vehicles, Detective Danielle Tolliver of South Detective Division said. Each car owner reported one or two of slashed tires while four others complained scratched paint. After police released surveillance video of the suspects, a witness reported information to South Detective Division, 2301 S. 24th St., to help detectives to identify the three suspects, according to police. Bianca Beck, 23, of the 1900 block of South 13th Street; David Baker, 29, of Center City; and David Whitfield, 31, of North Philly were arrested and charged with 39 counts of criminal mischief, possession of an instrument of crime and criminal conspiracy. Beck was released on her own recognizance while Whitfield’s and Baker’s bails were set at $39,000 and $100,000, respectively.
Oh Binx....it's bad enough they all have criminal records, but, Bianca's daughter is with a foster family as of July of last year after she left her unattended to go out to a bar. I would to foster/adopt her ,but, me and Brian has to figure out our own situation first. I have my wedding details (October 18 or December 13, 2013) all planned out better than anything else: -Dress- 
-Tights- 
-Shoes- 
Accessories: 
-Venues/Officiants- *First Unitarian Church* *Marry Me Philadelphia* *Waterview Lounge* *The Philadelphia Wedding Chapel* *Humbleman Weddings* *The Wedding Chapel of Philadelphia* *With This Ring* *CeremonyHeaven* Trying to narrow it down with me & Brian. We both liked Waterview initially, but, I want to make sure he's seen all the options. It's his wedding as much as it is mine. I think some brides forget that. Touching on some other important areas there are some things I am actually concerned about. 1)I will not put him out there, but, I have evidence that Brian may not be as in touch with reality as he claims. I have confirmed with his mother that he is really bipolar, but, cannot help but wonder how much deeper the situation goes. 2)My own health. Though I'm alright right now, I'm starting recognize that over the years I've been dealing with self-esteem instability in addition to depression. I had some minor emotional episodes over the weekend. Outside of that I am still uninsured and in search of somewhere to go for medical services. I'm supposed to apply for state insurance after talking to my mother so that it doesn't mess with any of her benefits. For now, I have this set-up planned: Primary - Mazzoni Center Gyno- Planned Parenthood I'm kinda afraid to go to the dentist as I haven't been in about 3 years along with the others, but, I am interested in actually finally seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist for the first time; especially me and Brian together. When I was attending college I was to go to PCOM, but, now can really only afford an evaluation with my current financial situation. But I've found the 4th Street Behaviorial Health Center which seems like a good fit. Just a little nervous. I've never talked to somebody before like that. Don't know what to expect. Well, that is all for now, Xanga whores. Buh-bye.
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| Not much of note has been going on. Friday was Amber's junior prom so I stayed in entertaining and drinkin all night with my mom. Saturday, I went to Bianca's work. Had squid with black bean sauce and a few drinks until they closed at midnight. Went to Irish Pub until 2 and just chilled at her apartment until almost 4. Didn't do anything else until Tuesday, except, for visiting Brian on Monday. I met up with Na & a few of her friends to drink at Rittenhouse. Smoked a couple dutches at Schuylkill River Park. Went in around midnight. Kinda pissed a beer leaked in my purse, though, and fucked up the phone Erika gave me back in July when mine bricked. 
It's older, but, was intact. Using a Cliq that works all gravy and is actually "modern", but, imagine this phone with all the plastic parts on the front missing. It belonged to my sister Eden and she would always do it on purpose because she wanted a new phone. She actually smashed one before. XP 
I've never even owned a touchscreen in my life. XD I just might start on my 21st birthday coming up on May 8. My main phones of choice as a gift from my mother: Bold 9900 
Note II 
I could dig it since it has the stylus. Seriously, though, never owned an android. Every phone I've owned has run on Java or Blackberry OS. After just bullshittin and relaxin the bulk of the week, I had a pretty productive day today. Had a phone interview with Material Concepts, went to the library & got four books (including the one I'm reading), and scheduled another job interview with Mugshot Diner . Definitely going before I visit Brian again tomorrow. Weekend's looking pretty good, too. Supposed to chill with Na again on Saturday. Might acquire some substances. Remember kids recreational drug use is not always abuse. Buh-bye, Xanga whores. | | |
| Well, I haven't really been up to anything as of late,except mainly chillen and visiting Brian on Monday. I had job interview the other day at this place called Centra Associates in Olde City...will know if I'm hired by next week. Seriously need a steady job. When I left ShopRite to only get laid off from Family Dollar, I have had the shittiest of luck. I turned down other jobs to work for Green Mountain Energy. It seemed great aside from being commission only. I loved my first day. Then what went wrong... - Our pay & clocking system was internet based. My one laptop got stolen
so I got behind to begin with. - When I was able to register, it took weeks for my SS# to work to sign-up. I wound up not ever getting paid for my training even though I put it in.
- This business sucks. Nobody is interested and they don't even guarantee your house gets renewable electricity. You're paying for it in your area. I seriously stopped trying after a couple sign-ups. I stuck it out for like a month and half, though, and wanted it to work so badly...nah.
So yeah, shit was the sticks. I only got like a couple sign-ups because I got tired of it and just plain stupid people. I started working as a secretary with my dad and uncle,but, that became per diem with exception of 1 week back in December, the same one Brian was arrested. I've been going to other interviews non-stop with little results and the only place I got an offer from lately was Platinum Advertising. That was a door-to-door job getting PECO customers electricity discounts. I almost took it, but, my family and other people felt it was too dangerous and I would of rather got an hour visit with Brian the day I had orientation/training. Back to my Brianz,speaking of which... Firstly, let me tell you a little bit about Curran-Fromhold Correctional Facility or as it's known around these parts,CFCF. It's a whole complex made up different prisons in Holmesburg. You have the main part which is called CFCF (close-medium custody) where my fiance is at, Alternative & Special Detention (minimal/community custody & work release), the Detention Center (Mental Health services, protective custody), House of Corrections (same custody levels as CFCF, juveniles included), Philadelphia Industrial (close-medium custody, behavioral health transitional programs, juveniles included), and Riverside (close-medium custody, community, women). They rarely answer their phones, you have maybe a 25% chance of getting helpful information when they do answer, and the CO's are mixed bag indeed. You'll get ones with attitudes (like when I first visited and this fat black bitch treated me like an idiot, other instances of just snarkiness especially in the actual visiting room) and cool ones (a good handful when I visit). I basically get to see my love from hours of 7:30-7:30 Monday through Friday for an hour a week. I get my choice of a full hour on his designated day of Monday or 2 half-hour visits on Monday and any other weekday of my choice. I've been visiting atleast once a week since January 11, but, wrote him letters a few times a week since Christmas Day after I got his inmate number. After getting a number and getting called to give his info, I basically wait in an often dirty room with a TV, rentable lockers, 2 vending machines, kiosk to get a voucher for a picture, and metal benches with a bunch of other people, mainly women with kids...present and on the way. I may wait 45 minutes on one day to be called to be searched/tested & get my pass and four hours another. It's a surprise every time. Once I get the green-light, I check my ID in at another desk and am ready to see my love once I hand in my pass at the front desk in the actual visiting area. Once I locate him in the room, happiest woman in the world.  We always make out, kiss, hold hands, and hug the entire time (maybe a few fondles and bites when the CO's aren't looking ),in addition to just laughing and talking. It's so short compared to the 7 1/2 months we lived together, but, I always leave there in a great mood just from seeing him. We get to sit side-by-side and just be a normal couple despite the fact he's been 13 miles away from me and in limited-reach for nearly 4 months. We haven't gotten a picture together yet, but, I might get one for a cute yet awkward memory sometime soon. It's a Polaroid and you stand in front of this aquatic background while another inmate takes it. It's only $3 so why not...
But that is what I usually endure until they hand me back my pass to leave and I'm on my way back home. Sometimes if I'm taking the bus late, say post-9PM (7:30 is the latest time you can come in),I'll run into chicks getting out of Riverside. They'll give me SEPTA tokes, I'll give them a buck or 2, I'll let them use my phone, and we'll just bullshit. Some of them are so crazy. It's always so classic.
I actually wrote Brian a letter today and sent him some sexy pics, in addition to relaxing and going to the Library.  I love our letters. We just catch up, write erotica, play games, make each other art, and even write poems & songs. For example, the Valentines Day Card I sent him: 
Yerp...as for what I am doing this weekend, going to the library plus drinking with Bianca (the ex of Blake) & this girl Na I met over the Summer. Also tryin to get into 420-shenanigans with Melissa. Shall be stellar.
Buh-bye, Xanga whores.
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| So much has happened since I last updated. Starting with my personal life, me and Chynna had a falling out and my social structure has changed a lot. I've kinda moved on from raves as much as I love them and they will always be a part of me. Maybe every once in a while, but, I realized I was substituting ecstasy/Molly for love and as means of happiness because I wasn't finding it at that time in my life due to a variety of factors. Doesn't mean I still don't like doing other things...that was just not a drug to be abused in my mental state. On that note, I highly recommend cocaine. not joking. It just may be for you. Erika and I also rarely speak anymore. I took in her dog while I was living with my fiance (I'll get into that soon enough.) up Rittenhouse Square because she moved back to Philly in August. Due to circumstances beyond my control and the fact she was clearly dicking my calls when I was only supposed to have her until December 1st at the latest, I took her to a shelter. I texted her about it twice. The 2nd she answered back and was pissed at me. Your dog is not my fucking responsibility when I have other issues to worry about! Well, due to a mix of things...I stopped attending Chestnut Hill in May. I had anxiety & doubts over a few subjects and as silly as it sounds, didn't feel there was a point of me being successful as I was going to be alone the rest of my life; to almost think why live a life if I have nobody to share it with? That all has changed, though. On my 20th birthday (May 8, 2012), I met this guy Brian who happened to be turning 29 on the 9th while I was at a bar with some newer friends (Erin, Joey, Bianca, and Mike)...and we started dating May 13 and have yet to part. Despite a period of emotional abuse nearing physical mixed in my bliss that we have gotten through, we have been engaged since August 29 and will hopefully be married May 18 of this year. I spent Memorial Day Weekend-December 22 living with this man and still am just as close to him despite us being apart since before Christmas because of the Philadelphia Prison System. We get our letters, phone calls, and visits in as much as possible. He should be out by May/June, though.; the bullshit he has to face for protecting me. Brian is my main reason for becoming motivated again in life. He is the first guy I've ever lived with and he is one of the best people I have ever been with. He is my working class, South Philly dream man. I am confident now on earning my A.A. English from CCP online. This will be better for me working (haven't had a steady job since I was laid off but am working on it), plus, if I do decide to transition back into a bachelors program my GPA will be better. I am seriously reconsidering my original career path, though, especially since Brian and I have been trying for a baby before he went away. A mortician is a full-time, 24-hour job and that is something that I feel isn't suitable with my husband and our future kids. So, I've decided to embark on freelance writer & photographer/pre-school teacher instead. I refuse to have them left at daycare/with a babysitter if Brian can't be home. I won't operate like that. I actually would love to be a stay-at-home mom and do the freelance work from there once I do have my first if it's feasible. They already have a name: Brian Robert Jr. or Chevelle Briana.
That is only a thought, though, right now...still have to see what will happen at Brian's next court date on May 2...a mere 16 days before we tie the knot.
I've been planning a bit (elopement/intimate venues in Philly) and have picked out some dresses & his wedding bands:
-Dress choices- 
Brian's rings: 
Just hope things don't have to to be postponed. Screw it; we'll still be Brian & Marissa Burkhardt.
V.XIII.XII & always.  Buh-bye, Xanga whores. | | |
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XGothicXLolitax or MissFormald3hyd3
