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thetruedarkness
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Name: Sexy Little Dead Girl
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
Birthday: 5/8/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: Goth ,Industrial, Death Rock, visual kei, Crash Bang Boom, cosplaying, porn, weed, animal activism, anime, manga, Sharpies, thunderstorms, randomness, the Interweb, writing,Edgar Allen Poe's work,LGBT actvism, having fun doing nothing,vodka, energy drinks, Gaia Online, and House M.D.
Expertise: Writing and being a full-time weirdo.
Occupation: High school Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  XGothicXLolitaX
AIM:  MissFormalde3hyd3
Member Since:
7/13/2005
 True
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| So, not much of note has been happening. I drank later Friday night with a few chicks from my 'hood that I grew up with. We played Circle of Death and just chilled. I wound up leaving to go to this guy Marc's house with my sister's ex Roy, Chynna, and our Jenna since everybody left out of the original spot. We had a bottle of UV Blue, exotics, and a six pack of Miller Light. While Marc wound up asking me out and I stayed over, I'm reconsidering things big time.
1)He keeps making fun of me.
2)I'm not sure we really have a lot in common other than partying.
3)I always have to hit him up first.
4)One of his friends stole $100 from me. They used my unemployment card for themselves. I took it out to buy a nitrous tank that night, but, they couldn't get in touch with the dude. I guess somebody paid attention that I had a lot of money and I found out I only had $16-something left at an ATM in the morning.
Josh has also gotten back in touch with me.  I was supposed to talk a guy Panda that I've been partying with, but, I think he's got a girlfriend or atleast a steady hookup. Who knows...
Saturday night, me and Melissa went to LAVA for Compulsion which is dubstep party+ art. They put canvases on the walls and let you paint, draw, etc. It was alright. They had free beer for the night, but, it ran out before I was drunk. After buying whippets a few times for 3 for $10, mixed drinks being $4-$6, smoking a bunch, and nobody having anything worthwhile (Like the kid Elliot I met with Holly kept trying to sell me speed.)..I decided to take a nap on table for a bit and then we left out at 2-ish. Panda's 21st is tomorrow so that should be a trip. The rest of the week, I've been on my chill looking forward to Easter Break and just have been writing a lot, mostly working on short stories. I went out last night around 11-ish. Phil, the cousin of Blake who Melissa has hooked up with and I knew from before through friends, invited me over to their place on Etting & Dickinson to drink and he also wanted to roll. We couldn't find anything, so I just stayed in for the time-being. He asked me to come drink, but, my dad has been on a binge lately and was starting fights so I felt it was better to stay home to keep peace. The next bus didn't run until almost midnight either so I doubted I was coming. Melissa calls me unexpectedly and tells me she's picking me up to go over their house. We wound up drinking a case of Heinekein and then Boxer when that ran out. We also smoked up quite a few times in addition to our friend Feya having hash brownies. At one point, me and Phil were rolling joints back-to-back for a good hour. We fell asleep high as shit.
This morning, I woke up around 7-ish and just relaxed until Melissa was ready to leave around 10:30-ish. Came home and had a bacon sandwich for breakfast. Now I'm just watching the Phillies' home-opener.
Not sure if I'm going out tonight. My only other plans are visiting Erika in Towson/Baltimore Thursday-Saturday next week. It's only $16 for roundtrip on Greyhound Express.
Later, Xanga whores.
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| I can't believe I've let this go for so long. I guess I just focused on other things (both wordly and digital) that I've lost track of time. I'm only a year older and will be turning 20 in a little over a month,but, there is much to discuss. Organized lists as always, Xanga whores. I wonder how many of you are even still around...
Milestones
-Losing my virginity. (December 2010)
-First New Years at 18
-Moving out...and back in. (April-June 2011)
-Completing my freshman year of college. (May 2011)
-Going to New England for the first time....and doing LSD up in Bar Harbor. (July 2011)
-Several of my friends turning 18-21 & and beyond (ongoing).
-Eden's first drinks...though at 11.
-Amber's 16th birthday (January) and first major relationship (December 2011-).
Major (Recent and/or Current) +
-I'm now close to finishing the 2nd semester of my sophomore year in college.
-I've had lots of writing creativity the past two years.
-I've got a really good group of friends and got a nice little Temple/Drexel/South Philly party circle going.
-I seem to meet new people easily all the time...thanks to the special social powers of psychedelic drugs.
-Keenan and I have been friends again since October. He hasn't used coke at all or painkillers majorly since January 2011, nearly 4 1/2 years since his initial downward spiral. To think he's only about to be 21.
-I've been able to respark things with Josh again since October, albeit on & off...and not always to the best of times. We've started a sex life,though....
-Erika & Ian got married this past Valentine's Day at City Hall, after dating a little over a year and a half. After much deliberation between Brookhaven, South Carolina (where Ian lived on base in the National Guard), and other places...they will be living in a studio apartment in Baltimore. While I am happy for them, I do think Erika is too immature (not age-wise, just mentally) and selfish to be married. She's already planning a pregnancy despite the fact I think she will murder Ian living without a separate bedroom.
-Melissa Ross, the most amazing and strongest 24 year old in the world, is my best friend along with a lovely tough bitch from my 'hood that I didn't know existed, ChynnaRae Sharpe. Have been since May.
-Concerts, including Lady Gaga and my new personal favorites Odd Future. (September 2010 & May 2011)
-Rob & I haven't been friends since last year. He accused me of lying about intimacy between us and made me out to be a bad person. Honestly, I'm glad he's gone. He was never that great looking back.
Major -
-I got called out for sleeping with a girl's boyfriend in October. I had no idea they were even together. He never mentioned her.
-I've been single since November, but, have been having relationship problems since the one before. Whether it fickleness, being shady, heroin addiction, and just being downright grimey (Like hooking up with another girl we brought out on our reconciliation night.) It's depressing. I've been meeting men non-stop,but, it's like ridiculous anymore.
-Speaking of which, the guy who played me at the rave and who is actually my half cousin Jack, treated me horribly during a possible pregnancy (wasn't) in late October/early November. He put me down, didn't want to talk to me unless I found out I wasn't pregnant, and accused me of ruining his life. Being a teenage girl, you'd think I was going to be the immature dipshit. No, it was my 24 year old ex-boyfriend.
-I've lost many people since Fall 2010 to now. The most profound and surreal so far has to be losing Jimbo. He died from a drug overdose on Christmas Day 2010.
-I quit ShopRite on August 1st, started working at Family Dollar on the 23rd, got laid off in November, and haven't had a promising job ever since. I'm living off of $75/a week from unemployment.
-I officially have a criminal record. On December 23rd, I was stopped for open container and underage drinking. It'll be expunged after I pay fines and take a substance abuse class,though.
-In addition to chronic insomnia since December, I've been having self-esteem and body issues. Combined with comments, social problems, and just a feeling of doubt, it does spiral out of control sometimes. I'm pretty sure that I've had depression and anxiety issues since gradeschool, but, nobody takes it seriously and I haven't had health insurance since turning 19 so it's not really like I can take action. It's $150 just for a checkup. Atleast I'm not alone.
-In addition to that, I've been missing a lot of school because of seriously getting a respiratory infection every other week-every two since January.
Anniversaries
-one year since Jimbo's death (December 25, 2011)
-one year since my grandmother's death (May 29, 2011)
-4 years since Richie's death (November 24, 2011)
-1 year since my high school graduation (June 7, 2011).
Well, I think I surprisingly got everything. I hope to be back more than once a year. Buh-bye, X.W's.
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| I haven't forgetten about you Xanga. I'm just either busy or you fuck up. It's cool,though, because I'm stickin around until all of my bodily functions cease. But, where to begin. I'm almost finished my first semester of college which is just surreal. I feel like I just started. My class schedule is as follows, by the way:
Monday & Wednesday 11-12:15 : Western Art-Early Renaissance to Modern
Tuesday & Thursday 9:30-10:45: Our Quantitative World
11:00-12:15: College Writing
2:30-3:45: Elementary Italian
4:00-5:15: Introduction to Communication
Friday 12:30-1:20: First Year Initiative (English Majors)
I'm already preparing my second semester's roster, which starts January 17. So far I chose:
Monday & Wednesday 11-12:15 : Introduction to Liberal Arts-Mental Illness in History,
Literature, and Film
Tuesday & Thursday 2:30-3:45 : Elementary Italian II
It still need atleast 6 more credit hours and my adviser has to finalize my choices,but, I'm sure I'll have a pretty awesome Spring Semester.
Straying from the academic, I've either been working, partying, or just chilling. Mostly with Stefan & Chelsea. Occasionally Paris.
I've also:
-been robbed of my phone (I now have a Blackberry 9700) and monthly trailpass. Days apart.
-been to DeBurgos and Pennhurst, albeit not exactly urban exploring the latter.
-found out Jimbo's in jail.
-gone to hookah bars.
-been barhopping.
-dressed up for Halloween for the first time in 5 years as pin-up girl
-met new people, online and off.
I'm still single and I guess it's alright. I've been talking to people,but, it just seems like nothing really is going in my favor. Josh stopped talking to me because my cousin Brittany texted him saying I loved him. He's started again,but, I think he's back with Holly. Which is confusing when it all seemed to be fine again. I really wish I could tell him how much of a fraud she is. He was so worried about her feelings and she's hooking up with guys in Cherry Hill. And she was worried about him talking to me. Senseless,much? Everybody else just seems to not going anywhere or I've been rejected. And so the six month struggle continues on... I'm supposedly am gonna find somebody in college,but, I feel like I'm nobody's type or good enough.
As of tonight, I'm just relaxing until 7-ish until I go out with my Amanda. I'm probably not gonna stay out that late seeing as I have work at 9:30-2:30 tomorrow. I'm also supposed to drink with Chelsea. My parents bought me a case of Coors Light before they left to go down the Shore. Well, that's all for now, Xanga whores. Buh-bye.
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| Well, Murphy's did show up. Paris decided to date another girl and basically played me in the process. I did have a chill time with him watching Blow and getting blazed before things went downward,despite. I've been talking to other dudes lately,but, I'm a little nervous. I don't want things to go wrong again.
Other things that have been going on up to today:
-Chilling with Rob for the first time in a grip.
-Drinking at my house with a bunch of people including Chelsea and Stefan.
-Smokin.
-Shore.
-Work.
-Buying books (The Soloist and Dead Until Dark).
-Random car rides.
-Arguments over me getting involved in Erika & Ian's relationship. She has him whipped and it sickens me.
-Erika getting a job at Party City and learning to drive.
-Planning a December roadtrip to Boston with the couple and Ian's friend.
-Comparing laptops for college
-Watching a lot of TV.
Today was pretty productive. I woke up at like 11, got dressed, and went to get my ID so I could cash savings bonds for college stuff. We're really strapped for cash at the moment so I had no choice. After going to 4th & Oregon for a $13 money order, sitting in Penndot for 45, and running to both TD and Citizens Bank to cash $2500 worths of bonds after a Wawa pitstop...mission accomplished. Why two banks? Despite calling ahead as a a precaution, the first told me since I wasn't a customer, I was only allowed to redeem $1k at once. I asked if I could open an account and they told me to come back tomorrow. They also seemed to not know what they were doing a little bit. After receiving about $900 back, I decided to go across the street to Citizens to see what they could do. Not only was there no limit,but, they were way more helpful and polite. I actually wound up opening a green checking and savings account. The dude who set me up was hilarious and super nice,too. After getting home, I finally refilled our prepaid Mastercard and ordered my textbooks. Here's my classes by the way:
Monday & Wednesday 11 AM- 12:15 PM: Western Art-Early Renaissance to Modern
Thursday 9:30 AM-10:45 AM; 11 AM-12:15 PM; 2:30 PM-3:45 PM; 4PM-5:15 PM: Understanding Our Quantitative World; College Writing; Elementary Italian I; Introduction to Communication
Friday 12:30 PM-1:20 PM: First Year Initiative/English/English Majors
After just chillen for a bit, I wound up walking around with Erika, Tiffany, Amanda, and Nick for a bit. All we did was walk around,but, there were a couple highlights. Mostly negative. Nick was acting more weird and creepier than usual. Then Erika brought up our argument, for the 3rd time since it happened almost 2 weeks ago. She kept saying how I had no right saying anything and how I was wrong. Even after getting the opinion of others, they all agreed what she does isn't right and that I'm allowed to have an opinion. My mom even said I should of hit her. XD It seriously all started over him smoking a cigarette. Yet, she'll do that, I smoked her up, and wants her 20th birthday at hookah bar. She's my best friend,but, that's hypocritical and senseless. I would never put up with it. Ian keeps talking about how he'd do anything for her,but, he's losing his identity in the process. The one he had when I started when I was talking to him on OKCupid. If I got on the relationship level with him, we'd be a cute little stoner couple . Oh well...he's joining the National Guard and some shit in March. He'll learn to live again. He has a physical and drug testing for it tomorrow, actually. Moving on...went in at like ten of 9 because Erika & Tiffany wanted to watch "Degrassi". Just have been relaxin the rest of the night. Got work 5-10 today. Well, that's for now, Xanga whores. Buh-bye.
4 days until I start college.
17 days until I see Lady Gaga
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| Well, Paris and I didn't wind up watchig a movie the other night,but, we had fun. We smoked with his friends Swillz and Nick. After a while he just wanted it to be us,so, we walked up to Penns Landing and South Street for a little bit. He likes biting.  Went in at like 1:30. Yesterday, now, was certainly just as unexpected. I went up to Cherry Hill to meet Holly. She wound up meeting this guy Elliot Guetta at the mall. He looked oddly familiar; turns out I recognized him from Nocturne. Got to know him a bit, 19 & works at Hollister. Apparently drugs are very big with kids in that area. Coke binges are nothing for them...  Holly's aunt also wants to sell the Dilaudid and Oxy-Contin she got from the hospital,so, I guess she's got herself set. He started talking to Holly because "she was hot and he wanted a cigarette". Walked around the mall for a bit with them,went to Taco Bell, and then was back across the street to the apartment complex. We started out sitting in like a parking/courtyard area but then got introduced to the game room by Elliot. He used to party at the Towers. After a couple games of fooseball, pool, and Truth-Or-Dare (Holly stuck a Bic pen in her vagina. XD) , I decided it was time to go...or not. First of all, when we got outside of the apartment, the cops had somebody pulled over. Elliot started kidding around it was his friend Shane because he always gets pulled over. It actually was.He tried to talk to the cop,but, they basically told us to keep walking. After they left me off, there was a bunch of creepers at the 404/405 stop,so, I came back. Elliot said his friend Jamie would drive me to the PATCO station,but, I was a little nervous about that too considering the time. It was like 11-ish. While, the $55 cab ride with Millenium was a little steep, it was worth the wait. Just Jamie turned into him and 4 other dudes. Naomi was suprised as we were. XD We had a ball fucking around in the Gameroom. My cab came at like twenty of one. Got back at about quarter after . Texted Holly and Paris (We started dating the 4th.) . Me and him are supposed to go see The Other Guys at 10. My plans as they stand now other than that is to smoke some dutchies with my cousin Brittany. She's picking up some ganj after she gets paid. The start of a great day. Buh-bye, Xanga whores. 25 days until I start college.
38 days until I see Lady Gaga. | | |
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XGothicXLolitax or MissFormald3hyd3
